Still not home

My husband and I are safe and sound, but we have not yet been able to return to our home... the date is April 5th... this is something we NEVER expected...

The contractors had predicted a return date of February 14th, but told us not to tell anyone... obviously that date has come and gone and we, along with most of the other 150 families that live in our complex, have not yet returned to our homes...

I go home every week to check on the progress, some weeks it is remarkable for the amount of change that has happened, some weeks it is remarkable for the stagnant state that is there...

Hurry up and wait is the mantra of the day... "make sure that toilet and vanity for bathroom are in your unit, by tomorrow, we will be installing them" have yours been installed. To this date mine still remain boxed in my living room... frustrated? YES... angry? YES...powerless YYYYYEEEEESSSSS!...

My emotional state teeters on the brink, some days I am fine and can do all that I want and need to do, other days I am a total mess...
When I reach the exit on the Meadowbrook Parkway for my town I still find myself bracing for the worst, so much has not been rebuilt–the gas station at the exit remains shuttered, the 7-11 (which was really new) also remains shuttered...

But there are enormous signs of life all around. A group of Freeport residents has been helping other residents to muck out, rip out and rebuild their homes. I have none of those skills, but I can crochet–the same group is creating baskets for residents as they return home. I have participated in this endeavor and thus far have crocheted about 50 pot holders in the red and white that are the colors of our village. This helps me to feel empowered, and useful.

I am living in my mother-in-laws home- this has been a god send. On the one hand we have been warm, safe and well fed since the storm, however I have not cooked many meals since arriving at her home. She thinks of food as her way of taking care of us–I see food differently– it is a necessity, but i miss some of the things I usually make, so does my husband. My mother-in-law is a big fan of the microwave for everything–I have one, but use it really minimally. My mother-in-law is the queen of leftovers–I try so hard at home to make a fresh meal every night–differences... I miss my space and quiet time, but feel it necessary to be social and interactive.

Others lives have gone forward, barely touched by this nightmare... my life remains very much impacted by a storm that happened so many months ago that many have forgotten.